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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I realise that we're such busy people that it makes stepping back and taking a break feel so wonderful. It really feels like you're on top of the world.

And that's what I have been feeling for the past six weeks. Personally, I term it as my own version of a summer holiday. Extended weekends and random weekdays off, it has really given me the opportunity to catch up on many things I've not been able to do with my normal army lifestyle.

Not to say I've not had my breaks last year of course. There were some, although they happened few and far between, but that certainly made most of them pretty sensational and thrilling altogether. This time, it is much lengthier, hence allowing for a much comfortably paced pleasurable experience. It is like taking a roller coaster in contrast with building sandcastles on the beach.

It occurred to me on the way home that I long so much for such breaks. No matter the length. It could be half an hour, it could be half a month - but it never fails to leave me with a desire to take a step back from life and it's routine craziness and do something that falls within the category leisure - taking photographs, going for a relaxing swim, or even just reading a book. All of life's simplicities.

Life's been pretty much like a racing game, and we've been players in it. It has been us driving, not knowing where the next turn is, and simply just reacting as the corners come. It's fun and laughter flies everywhere, but when the game finally ends, we find ourselves wanting to give it one more go.

Unfortunately, time never turns its back on no one and all the best I can do is to look forward with longing, the same longing that I talked about earlier, the one I've been having all my life. A longing for a break, a step back from a hectic nature of routine, and a moment when everything stands still and it is just you and everything that comes along with you, and all else freezes.

'cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving
- The Man Who Can't Be Moved. The Script.

1:01 AM;

Sunday, June 28, 2009

On this sunday night;

I've just come back from a hearty stuffing session. Had katong laksa, smelly toufu, oyster mee sua, dumplings and durians! Even though I admittedly do harbour hopes of migrating somewhere less fast-paced, more scenic and hopefully with four seasons when I grow older and with fingers crossed - wealthier, I do appreciate the fact that it is absolutely brilliant that we live in a food haven. There's just so much great food you can never have enough space in your stomach for and that is one of the best things ever that comes about from living in this tiny red dot.

I remember my days at JCC, in the middle of the god-forsaken Brunei-an jungle. Late at night, talking to my buddy Edwin about the food we want to savour upon reaching back home. It was a dream really, and the agony of knowing dreams don't just come true with a click of your fingers made it hurt. So much so that I can still remember how it feels.

I realise that time really flies by fast. One year ago, I was still lying on my bunk bed, one week having gone by in OCS, wondering what I had gotten myself into. And one year on, I relish that the journey has come and gone, and we've all moved onto various places in life. This, having learnt the life-long lessons that have come our way, and now we no longer have to starve in a cold starless night in a god-forsaken Brunei-an jungle to understand the fortunate situation we find ourselves in everytime we have food on our tables.

I'm gonna tell all you guys - I love my new camera! I've long been wanting a DSLR camera to play with because taking pictures with a normal handycam just doesn't have that whole feel and finish to it. So far, I've managed to go on two photography trips, and they both have turned out reasonably well, with me discovering so much technicalities to work with while using this camera.

Just a few that I like

I remember six months back, the New Year was approaching, and I was pretty nervous about something. Six months on, I'm so glad things have turned out the way they have, otherwise life just would not be as wonderful and fulfilling would it? Haha.

Hello! =)

I've finally reached the end of a surprisingly long entry. And on this Sunday night, I need to step back to reality and get ready to sleep and get up early for work tomorrow. Looks like blue's gonna be my favourite colour again on a Monday. But till then, peace out people.

11:54 PM;

Sunday, June 14, 2009

and it has been a while hasn't it?

I've been snugged away on an island called Pulau Tekong these days, a place which i swore i would never return to when i passed out from BMT. How short-sighted I was then. Anycase, life has been alright, certainly much busier than i would have expected, and the famous saying by a world famous half-man-half-spider certainly rings pretty true: "with great power comes great responsibility". Not to say I have great powers of course, but certainly I do feel the burden on my shoulders much more these days, so much so that sometimes i do feel kind of burnt out.

Or maybe that's just the sun at Tekong.

Meanwhile, Jenson Button has somehow driven flawlessly in the first seven races of the season, and claimed six victories amongst them. The only exception being a third place finish in rain soaked Shanghai. For me as an F1 fan, having a little knowledge of Formula One history having enjoyed reads on the subject matter, it is an amazing achievement, and even exceptionally "talented" drivers (i.e. Lewis Hamilton) make so many mistakes during the course of the season it makes me wonder how worthy they actually were of their championship ring last time around.

Whatever it is, the record has been set straight. Jenson Button is driving like Michael Schumacher at his prime, or as we might find out, could be even better. Matching and even beating the feats of legends like Jim Clark and Jackie Stewart certainly does, in my opinion, rank him high up in the order of the best ever.

Life has moved in a flurry, and there really hasn't been much time for a breather. But I think I like it like this. This way you know, you're always in a position to live life to it's absolute fullest. And like always, I'm looking to a brand new day. It's 4.36am in the morning now, time for this restless soul to go catch some naptime. Till next time...

4:19 AM;

Sunday, May 03, 2009

the rain's pounding on outside and lightning's streaking across the sky, lighting up the land as far as i can see.

this better not happen outfield.

life's changed. suddenly, we don't have to march in step, we don't have to set the alarm clock to 5.15am and we don't have to keep asking permission for simple things like going to e-mart.

i think i need to improve more on my public speaking skills. stammering over words in front of your men aren't the ideal way to look commanding, and i need to refine that whole smooth thinking process and putting thoughts into words thing soon.

swine flu's griping the whole world, and suddenly temperature taking is the in-thing again. maybe a 2 week holiday again? better not quarantine me on the island of pulau tekong is all i wish for. of course, let's just cross our fingers and hope it flies around our little red dot and not into it.

All brawn and no brains? Certainly not for Ross Brawn and his new F1 team as they conquer dizzying heights rarely even seen before by the traditional powerhouses. (Or powerhorses?) Apparently Jenson's enhanced his off-track lifestyle too and I'm sure this might have been part of the reason why he's had a lucky star watch over him in the first few races. A lucky Japanese star.

Since Massa and Kimi's not exactly in the pink of racing health, let's hope my favourite underdog Vettel can spoil the Virgin party and charge to the top with his bull.

shopped a little today and bought rather nice stuff! okay that sounds like a little girl but seriously retail theraphy works wonders for everyone. esp your truly who has been stuck on a smelly island for 3 weeks. almost rotted and decomposed in there.

The rain's still falling, and the old man's snoring. (that's my dad) For me, I need to get to bed and bump my head on the pillow if i still wanna get up in the morning. ciaos!

1:57 AM;

Saturday, April 11, 2009

21.03.09. 72/08 Officer Cadet Course Commissioning Parade.

The parade actually started two hours earlier for us participants. For some, it was when they started putting on the no. 1 uniform, for others it was when they took the rifle out of their rifle cabinets. But for me, it was when we lined up in our contingent level - that was when the butterflies appeared and that is when you know: the moment has arrived.

Throughout our 9 months in OCS, we've had many missions. From Ex. Scorpion King to JCC, we've conquered many knolls and won many battles. But there was one left, and this required never-ending rehearsals, and perfect execution.

And that was the 72/08 Commissioning Parade.

Despite having had so many rehearsals over the entire course of Joint term, we still needed to have rehearsals before the actual parade. Thankfully this was a short one to freshen our minds on the sequence, and our arms need no be tired out too much.

The time passed quick and after a toilet visit and an eagle's roar to build us up to the big moment, we formed up, ready to march onto the parade square...

... if only it was that easy.

The heart only served to pump harder and harder with every step, inching us closer to the parade square. It probably tripled at the very instance the grandstand appeared in our eyes. Before we knew it, we were formed up at our starting positions, ready to move off anytime.

The countdown began, literally so too, and SSM was there to help us in that. HE read out the time left every once in a while, so our anxiety was constantly kept at its peak, as we saw the minutes disappear into thin air. Stomach churning, sweat dripping, arms shaking... 1740... 1741... 1741 and 30 secs...

And then, it came.

"Boom boom boom... check... boom boom boom... check..."

Being tall has its pros and cons, and one of the cons is having to be the marker of the contingent, the point man, the one people take reference from, and the one who keeps getting scolded during parade rehearsals.

But worse of all, you were the first to march onto the parade square, and all eyes are on you.

That's very pressuring. And indeed, it showed. Simply put, everything that you were trying to focus on just could not happen, as your legs trembled and your arms shook and your rifle felt like a million tons. All I could do was to try to keep my composure, and listen out for the drumbeat. Only when we finally touched down did I heave a sigh of relief.

The procession continued, and the movements that had been ingrained over the past two weeks in the back of our minds were swift and deftly executed. I remember looking up into the stands, seeing my family, my friends all beaming at me. It really gave you a sense of fulfillment like no other, and you could feel the 9 months of training and all that sweat and pain reverberating in your heart, because it reminded you of the reason why you did this in the first place - that this was for them, the people you love, and they now became the people you protect.

The floodlights shone ever brighter as the sun continued its descend into the evening sky, and the proceedings entered it final phases. Son the time dawned upon us to begin the slow march out, and the tune of "auld lang syne" echoed in our ears. Indeed, it marked a farewell, a farewell to this journey in which we have always longed for its destination, and a farewel to our story of 9 months of sweat and pain. However, unlike other farewells, this was one coated with a sense of happiness and jubilation, a farewell that simply marked the beginning of another journey, one that was more significant and had a greater purpose to fulfill.

Epaulettes were fixed and photos were taken, capturing a memory for life. As the announcement was made and we placd our peak caps over our hearts, I knew the moment had arrived. The words of WSM rang in my mind and as we tossed the cap into the air, I knew our lives had changed forever, and just like the peak caps, we had transformed "from maggots into butterflies", soaring into the blue night sky...

1:47 AM;

Sunday, February 22, 2009

That's the F60 during testing this past week at Bahrain.

You know what, I can't wait for the F1 season to start! Currently, it's just about one month away. The roar of the engines, the dynamic regulation changes, the return of slicks and certainly the return of 9 months of intense competition after the most closely fought world championship ever in 2008.

And I also cannot wait for another thing too - and coincidentally - it's just about one month away too. It's gonna be an exciting month ahead.

Meanwhile ciao peeps.

2:56 PM;

Sunday, February 08, 2009

And we're now 32 weeks in.

Amazing isn't it? and did i mention it was 2009 already? Oh man, I've really deserted this blog. Hence, I believe I owe this place a proper entry. let's do a small recap first.

2008 was an incredible year. Looking back, what an eventful year it has been, so much has happened and my life has changed in so many ways - both for the better and maybe a little worse.

And to think, I thought 2007 was eventful enough.

In 2008, of course I changed occupation from a student to a soldier, and although it certainly is a dread many times over, I must admit it has been quite an experience - and it is through these that I discover so much more about myself: of my abilities, strengths and weaknesses.

In 2008, I've fallen out of love, and fallen in love again, at the same time my entire (ok maybe some parts) perspective on relationships have evolved as well. To have your heart shattered really gave me the opportunity to discover where I drew my strength from, and you find that the may friends that stand by you and take you through tough times are really amazing, and I count myself blessed.

In 2008, I've found out that friends and family mean so much more than I previously thought - they mean more than the whole world. This has partially been borne out of the army experience of course, and thus I've taken so much effort to balance my time between both groups, to spend as much time as possible with the people that I care for, so as not to take for granted the fortunate circumstances I find myself currently.

And in 2008, I believe I've grown so much more as a person, and become the person that I truly want myself to be - the one that brings joy to everyone around him and lives life to the absolute fullest every single day.

And now, with the dawn of the new year, life has had a major turnaround again - this time a 180-degree change for the better! Like I said, I've been really fortunate and I really thank God for all that I have, it's pretty amazing when you come to think about it.

32 weeks have passed, and 6 weeks are left for all of us in this rite of passage towards attaining officership. It's been a journey that's fun, enriching, exciting, often gruesome and torturous - sometimes even to the point of starvation. Throughout, what always seemed like an eternity has finally bade it's time, and we now step up towards graduation.

And I can't wait. :)

2:11 AM;

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